I have learned quite a lot from my husband; he is a wonderful teacher, leading by example. He makes me a better person. I am a work in progress, always getting better (hopefully!!). I am amazed at how far I have come when I think back to some of the things I have said to others during my early 20′s, which were also the first years of my marriage. I did a lot of growing up AFTER I was married. I’m sure that is a very common experience, however, I am not sure how many people can claim that their spouse was as patient as mine.
I am thinking today of the damage I have done with words. I am humbled by it. I know that I have not always been a woman that Matt would be proud of. But he is still hanging around me today and, for that, I am grateful.
I remember a time when I studied Proverbs 31: 10-31, often referred to as the “description of a worthy woman” or the “hymn to a good wife.” I actually fell into a depression over it. I remember calling my mom and agonizing that God would not be pleased with me because I’m not humble and quiet in my nature. Rather, I tend to be aggressive and, sometimes, abrasive in nature. The first part of verse 26 reads a few different ways:
When she speaks, her words are wise… (NLT)
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say… (The Message)
She speaks with wisdom… (NIV)
I am reminded this evening that I speak via facebook. It is not uncommon for Matt to tell me that perhaps I might not want to post something. Fortunately, he has intercepted most of my verbal fumbles. I am thankful for that. However, I posted something Saturday that I have since taken down off of my wall. I have a friend, a godly man, who gave me some gentle criticism for this post. It was one that got quite a lot of attention. It had already occurred to me that I might need to remove it because so many were commenting on it.
This quiet correction from someone that I respect rattled me. I found myself inspecting my general behavior as of late. I was disappointed to discover that I am not always acting in a way that would make my husband proud. It has happened occasionally that I have garnered a look from Matt that tells me he wishes I hadn’t said whatever had just passed through my lips. He need not say a word. I am made aware with only a glance that I have blown it. And it’s so embarassing… I do not like to disappoint him. The latter part of Genesis 3:16 follows:
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you. (NASB)
There has been great debate over the meaning of this verse. I have heard it said that it means that the woman will desire to control her husband, or that she will be constantly seeking attention from her husband. I do not purport to know what it means. I can say what it means to me, though. I desire my husband’s approval. I want him to be proud to say that I am his wife. I want him to want me. I am motivated to be the best that I can be because of him.
Thank you, Matt, for all that you do for me, but especially for helping me to become a woman of honor.
11/28/2011 at 10:23 am
We are all a work in progress, sweet daughter. You are a worthy woman.