I have learned quite a lot from my husband; he is a wonderful teacher, leading by example.  He makes me a better person.  I am a work in progress, always getting better (hopefully!!).  I am amazed at how far I have come when I think back to some of the things I have said to others during my early 20′s, which were also the first years of my marriage.  I did a lot of growing up AFTER I was married.  I’m sure that is a very common experience, however, I am not sure how many people can claim that their spouse was as patient as mine.

I am thinking today of the damage I have done with words.  I am humbled by it.  I know that I have not always been a woman that Matt would be proud of.  But he is still hanging around me today and, for that, I am grateful.

I remember a time when I studied Proverbs 31: 10-31, often referred to as the “description of a worthy woman” or the “hymn to a good wife.”  I actually fell into a depression over it.  I remember calling my mom and agonizing that God would not be pleased with me because I’m not humble and quiet in my nature.  Rather, I tend to be aggressive and, sometimes, abrasive in nature.  The first part of verse 26 reads a few different ways:

When she speaks, her words are wise… (NLT)

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say… (The Message)

She speaks with wisdom… (NIV)

I am reminded this evening that I speak via facebook.  It is not uncommon for Matt to tell me that perhaps I might not want to post something.  Fortunately, he has intercepted most of my verbal fumbles.  I am thankful for that.  However, I posted something Saturday that I have since taken down off of my wall.  I have a friend, a godly man, who gave me some gentle criticism for this post.  It was one that got quite a lot of attention.  It had already occurred to me that I might need to remove it because so many were commenting on it. 

This quiet correction from someone that I respect rattled me.  I found myself inspecting my general behavior as of late.  I was disappointed to discover that I am not always acting in a way that would make my husband proud.  It has happened occasionally that I have garnered a look from Matt that tells me he wishes I hadn’t said whatever had just passed through my lips.  He need not say a word.  I am made aware with only a glance that I have blown it.  And it’s so embarassing… I do not like to disappoint him.  The latter part of Genesis 3:16 follows:

Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you. (NASB)

There has been great debate over the meaning of this verse.  I have heard it said that it means that the woman will desire to control her husband, or that she will be constantly seeking attention from her husband.  I do not purport to know what it means.  I can say what it means to me, though.  I desire my husband’s approval.  I want him to be proud to say that I am his wife.  I want him to want me.  I am motivated to be the best that I can be because of him.

Thank you, Matt, for all that you do for me, but especially for helping me to become a woman of honor.

 

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